Laughs, Chaos And Disturbing Scenes!
by unicorn13564
Summary: By Unicorn13564 & Jen-Tao07. Yaoi. If you don’t like it, don’t read. If you enjoy a laugh then read this as it is full of funny scenes, but be warned as some are sickening. Eg: ? in thongs! Please read as it isn't as bad as it sounds. UPDATED!
1. Ren's Night Out!

A/N: This is an odd story which has been written between the two authors: Unicorn13564 and Jen-Tao07. Jen-Tao07 thought of it after inspiration from another story.

Note from Jen-Tao07: I should forewarn you that this story is under no category, except perhaps humor (even though it isn't that funny) and that the story is being written by two authors at the same time. So there is no plot ppl! Uni will explain the set-up over there. Well, that's all from me, see you at the end of the fic. P.S. I know I keep asking this but, everyone who likes Shaman King must answer this question: Who is your favorite Shaman King character and why? To set an example, here's my answer- My fave character in SK is Ren/Lenny because I _love _his personality. Well, you don't have to say why just send me a review saying _Ren_, and your second fave if you want. Arigatou. Au Revoir. ( I know. 2 _strange_ languages in the same sentence, WHATS ALL THAT ABOUT!)

Note from Unicorn13564: Jenna you weird cow. Oopsy, did I just reveal your identity? Sorry. Anyway, the set-up is our pen names surrounded with stars.iejen-tao07 means she is the one writing her pathetic excuse for a sentence. When it says uni- ok you get the point. It's not that hard to work out. I will try my hardest to make this funny, sick, amusing, disturbing and cruel. Who do you hate most in SK-say Trey/Horo and die- say Zeke/Hao and live- I only pick on Hao to annoy my sister, other than that he's an... how can I put this... ok guy? I love Trey/Horo coz he soooo funny and he can rule the world with a tin of backed beans! Anyone who dares to defy him will be gassed to death!

Jen-Tao07: In reply to Unicorns statement, I tell her to f off and enjoy life were ill let her live. You should all answer her question too, I say Zeke/Hao as he's the bad guy, although Morty does piss me off.

Unicorn13564: Hi JENNA! Just to let you know, I'm sat right next to you in Graphics so I can read everything your typing you ass!

Jen-Tao07: Ditto, MARCO IS GAY AND LYSERG DID NOT DESERVE THAT PUNCH FOR SAVING SOMEONES LIFE!

Unicorn13564: Yeah, but he did deserve _A_ punch for betraying Yoh and co. Also, when Marco says that one life doesn't make a difference, he is SO wrong! When Lyserg's parents were killed, it made a HUGE difference, both to him and his family! So he can't go around believing that shit! YOU HEAR ME LYSERG! AND MARCO! YOUR BOTH GAY- ok, I'm done. By the way, we used the Jap names.

Summary: By Unicorn13564 Jen-Tao07. This story is Yaoi. If you don't like it, don't read. It's sickening, weird, disturbing and plain wrong. If you dare to read this, read, if not, walk away. Containing disturbing scenes, chaos, and much more. Plus alcohol and drugs!

Title: Laughs, Chaos And Disturbing Scenes!

Chapter 1: Len's Night Out!

Jen-Tao07

It was another normal day at the Asakura residence, and yet again Anna was bossing everyone around. And I mean _everyone._ But she wasn't succeeding with some people. Horo was slouching on the couch eating, and Ren was next to him drinking milk, they defied everything Anna told them to do and Horo only got away with it as Ren stuck up for him. Horo looked over at Ren and wondered-

Unicorn13564

-whether Ren wanted to go out to a club with him later on. Horo stood in front of Ren, curious as to what he might say.

"Ren..."

Ren looked up at Horo, "Yes?"

"Would you... maybe..."

Ren looked at his blue-haired friend, a hint of redness in his cheeks. "Would you like to go for a drink later? Ya know, to celebrate Yoh's birthday?"

"...One question." said Ren, pointing a finger at Horo, "Why would _you _invite _me_ to a pub with the excuse that its Yoh's birthday?"

Horo blushed, "Because-

Jen-Tao07

"-it's Yoh's birthday and you're one of his good friends..." Horo turned away dramatically, "...but if you'd rather not go then-"

"We'll go." said a voice, it sounded hyperactive and they turned around to find Hao and Yoh stood in the doorway. Hao was swaying a little and Horo realized he had gotten drunk from the drinking contest he had with Ryu.

"Hao, you ain't coming." Horo said.

"Why, you invited me didn't you?" Ren said, "After all, Hao is Yoh's brother." Horo looked a bit unsettled,'_ I wanted it to be just me and Ren'_-

Unicorn13564

-"Wait, Hao we can't. We said we'd help Anna remember?" Yoh pointed out, "Besides, we could go later."

"Correction,_ you_ said you'd help Anna." Said his staggering older brother.

"Yeah but-"

"Don't you dare use that language with me!" yelled Hao, giving Yoh a quick slap, "Now go to your room now!"

Everyone was speechless as Hao pointed aimlessly at the kitchen.

"Hao!" shouted a young blonde, "Get out!"

"Huh? What did I- Hey, did you know that dress makes you look fat?"

Hao fell to the floor as Anna punched him, causing his nose to drip with blood. Anna dragged Hao out of the door by his foot and left him in the street. As she came back in, Yoh had to ask.

"Anna, why did you drag him out into the street?"

Anna simple said, "He was bleeding all over my new carpet."

Everyone stopped, as there was a knock at the door. As Anna went to get it, she held her hand in a tight fist, ready to punch Hao. As she opened the door, she beat the shit out of someone, but it wasn't Hao. Instead it was poor-

Jen-Tao07

-Lyserg. 

"Anna! What the fuck did you do!" Horo yelled, and ran over to the unconscious form of Lyserg. Anna simply stood there, with no expression on her face. Suddenly, a yell startled them all.

"Cheers Anna! Saves me beating the shit out of him!" It was Hao, everyone looked at Anna. She grabbed her coat and walked out of the door, picking up an axe on the way. Horo looked at Yoh, startled that Anna would go to such lengths.

"Oh, well. We can't stop her now can we?" Ren stated, and walked over to Horo to help him with Lyserg's bloody body.

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh! Anna's a phsycopaaaatttthhhh! Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa!" Hao's strange cry for help and psychotic laugh made them all jump and caused Ren and Horo to drop Lyserg, Yoh looked shocked and ran out to help his big brother with his fiancée.

Ren watched as Yoh pelted out the door and towards the sound of the yells. He looked back at Horo, who was just stood over Lyserg's mangled body and just staring down at it,' What a baka.' He thought. 

"Ya know, I think he'll be alright there." Horo said, Ren looked at him, and said, "Yes, with Ryu falling over everything in sight after his drinking contest with Hao, I'm sure he'll be perfectly fine and won't get crushed by Ryus weight." Horo stood there, considering for a second then grabbed Lyserg's shoulders and pulled him upstairs.

Ren flinched each time he heard a 'clunk', which meant Horo had fallen over himself or dropped Lyserg. Eventually, Horo came down and Ren said, "I hope you realize he is still alive, Horo."

Horo nodded, and grabbed his coat, "Still wanna go out then? We have nothing else to do." Ren nodded and followed him out the door. 

A few blocks down, they arrived outside a building, which turned out to be-

Unicorn13564

-packed with people. As they entered, a guy stopped them.

"Hey," he said, looking at Len, "Why don't you ditch this guy and come home with me instead?"

Len's eyes dropped to the hand that was on his chest, then back up at the man. "Get off, now!"

Horo pushed Len inside whilst calling the man a sick freak.

Once inside, Horo and Ren looked around. Flashing lights and the loud music encouraged the people around them to dance. As Ren scanned the perimeter, he quickly noticed something. Ren dragged Horo over to the bar were it was more quieter.

"Hey, what's the matter Ren?"

"Who gave you the name of this place?" he asked, still clutching Horo's shirt.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Look around you moron, do you realize what this place is?"

As Horo looked around, he failed to see what was wrong.

"It's a Gay Bar!" said Ren in a low voice, pulling Horo closer so he could hear him over the loud music.

"…So…?"

Ren instantly let go of Horo as if he had some kind of contagious disease, "I'm off."

Ren was about to walk out when Horo grabbed his arm, "Ren wait-"

"No!" yelled Ren, turning round to face Horo, "I'm not-"

Ren was surprised when Horo's warm lips pressed against his. As Horo ended the kiss, he begged Ren to stay.

Ren needed time to think, so he agreed to stay for a while, in hope that he could sort his mind out. Horo was nice enough to buy him a drink.

As Horo and Ren walked around, they came across a pole dancer, but as the pole dancer turner around, Ren started to choke on his drink. There before him stood-

Jen-Tao07

-Hao. But it wasn't Hao as they knew, it was Hao in-

"Thongs, Hao?" Horo said questioningly, staring at the boy who was sliding his butt cheeks up and down the pole he was stood next to. 

"Hang on, wasn't Anna chasing you?" Horo said.

Hao stepped away from the pole and launched into a hearty description about how he escaped.

"She chased me and I screamed, and I found this place and snuck in. She wouldn't find me in here, then this guy told me to pay or work, so I chose work."

"Hao, you are sick." Ren said, turning away, but a hand thrust against the wall in his path, blocking the way to the door. He looked up at Hao, who was the one stopping him.

Hao leaned in toward his face and said, "Don't you wanna stay, Ren? Have some fun. Play a few...games."

Ren stared him in the eye, revolted at what he just heard, and said," You sick bastard."

Horo, being jealous, pulled Hao away from Ren and told him to find another toy to fuck. Hao smirked at him and said, "But Ren needs company, and I'm just the solution." Hao turned to Ren but then- 

Unicorn13564

-a guy came up to Hao.

"Hey Hao," the guy said, "I thought you only came here on Tuesdays?"

Hao waved and told the guy that he offered to work today. Both Ren and Horo looked disgusted.

"What…?" asked Hao, "So I come here a little more than I said, so what."

Hao climbed back up onto the stage and collected money. Then he continued his little 'butt dance', jiggling it in Ren's face, beckoning him to come up onstage with him.

"There is no way in Hell I'm-"

Ren had no say as Hao dragged him up onto the stage, putting his hand on the young Tao's cheek, flirting with him.

Ren just stood their, not knowing what to do or how to react. He hated feeling so insecure, so vulnerable to the people around him. He had stayed here to clear his head and buy some time before he told Horo how he felt, and he couldn't do that with Hao breathing down his neck. Ren felt all sorts of emotions coming out, mostly the ones he had kept bottled up all the time, but the highest level of all was his anger. (If that makes any sense.)

Horo watched Ren stand there with Hao flirting around him. _'Poor Ren,'_ he thought, _'He looks so insecure and scared. I brought him here to have a good time and so that I could let him loosen up a bit- to see if he felt the same way, but how can he after all I've done to him is push him into doing something he doesn't want to do.'_

Horo jumped up onto the stage and grabbed Ren's arm, "Come on, were getting out of here."

Ren looked at the ice shaman, a sexy smile placed upon his face.

Unicorn13564: Ok reviewers, its up to you now. Were getting low on ideas so I want you guys to review and say what you want to happen at some point in the story- good news is that it can be as sick as you want- bad news is that we wont be able to do half of them so its kinda like a 1/50 odd chance of us actually choosing your part so please don't be mad if its not yours. We will give credit to you if we chose your idea; if there is no credit then it is one of our own. Oh, and before any of you say something, I'm not sick and twisted, I'm just always up for a laugh- and no I'm not on drugs. Lol.


	2. Painful Moments That We Share

Jen-Tao07: Greetings! 2nd chappie up! God damn you computer! Wasting all these peoples time just cos you don't have the internet! Oh, well, R&R! Thanks 4 reviews on Chappie 1.

Unicorn13564: Sorry this took us so long… for some reason, my cheek is throbbing! TT (and no I didn't get into a fight)- but I don't think its usual for a cheek to throb if someone hasn't punched it. DAMN YOU JENNA, YOU MADE ME GET A STIFF KEYBOARD!

Chapter 2: Painful Moments That We Share

Jen-Tao07 

Hao watched as Horo pulled Ren away. 'There goes my fun.' He thought glumly.

"Hey you! You're off shift now, go home!" A man yelled as he clambered onto the stage next to Hao. He was wearing things as well, but Hao was even more shocked as to find out it was...Marco.

Hao glared at him.

"Hao...didn't know you came here on Saturdays." His voice was full of hate, but Hao's face held much more of it.

"Goodbye." He said harshly and clambered down off the stage, pushing past people, angered at Horo for taking away his fun. He glared at them as he saw them at the bar, and feared that he'd become too good for his own good.

'Even worse is seeing that god damn X-Law' He thought to himself, while changing in the locker room (he left the thongs on). He glanced at the clock, which said it was 5:00pm. Suddenly, a smug idea came to him.

"I know, I'll throw a party, to celebrate Yoh's and my birthday." 

Hao was slightly hurt that he had no praise off anyone; they didn't seem to remember that it was his birthday too. And with that Hao slammed his locker shut and ran out the back door to go purchase some— 

Unicorn13564 

thing. (It's a secret XD)

Meanwhile, in the bar, Ren was having a hard time clearing his head.

'What the hell am I doing here…?'

Horo looked at the Tao stood beside him, 'Ok, that's it. We really need to get out of here.'

Ren was surprised when Horo grabbed his arm and began to pull him out of the club, "Wait- were are we going?" asked a confused purple-haired Shaman. When Horo didn't answer, Ren began to get suspicious.

As Ren walked down the street, with Horo dragging him along, he pulled his hand away and stood still.

"Huh? Ren, what's wrong, are-"

"Why did you take me there?"

Horo looked at Ren as his eyes saddened, "I… I just wanted to know…" 

"Know what!" hissed an impatient Ren.

"…Know if you felt the same way…"

Horo looked hopefully at Ren.

'What the hell does he expect me to say! Sure, I love you, lets be gay lovers!'

Horo held Ren's hand, silently pleading him to say that he too feels the same way.

Ren jerked his hand away and ran. With Horo calling out to him, Ren ran in the opposite direction, fragments of tears escaping his eyes as they were blown away by the wind.

"…Ren… REN!" shouted Horo, hoping he would return, but he didn't.

Horo sighed and decided Ren needed some 'alone time', so he put his hands into his pockets, and slowly began to walk back to the Asakura Residence.

(still uni)

Ren walked down the quiet streets, wondering were he would go from here. 

'I can't go back there… Horo will be there, and I don't want to run into him.'

Len glared at the pavement he was walking on, 'Damn you Horo, why do you have to make me feel this way? Why is it that every time I look at you, I feel… safe…?'

Rain began to fall on the Chinese Shaman, 'I don't get it, I don't- I just… I can't do this! I'm not gay! I'm a Tao, and a Tao cannot love…'

Ren was startled as a figure emerged from behind him. He turned and growled as he came face to face with the annoying

Jen-Tao07 

Hao. 

"Hi!" He greeted cheerfully, he had some large white bags and seemed to be completely different to how he was acting at the gay bar. Ren was still slightly stressed at the moment, and Hao was the last person he wanted to see. He narrowed his eyes.

"Shut up, Hao. I can't-"

"I know, you can't be arsed with me. But come on, I've had the greatest idea of ALL time EVER in the WHOLE world...EVER!"

Ren flinched at the sheer volume of Hao's voice, he really couldn't be arsed with that annoying bastard, especially after what he did at the gay bar. 'Just who the hell did he think he was, anyway? Coming onto me like that, the bastard!'

But still, he was curious as to what new plot Hao's twisted mind was thinking up now. He glared at Hao suspiciously, who was dancing on the spot in excitement.

"And what great idea would this be?" He asked in imitation. Hao grinning evilly.

"It's a surprise." He said, and grabbed Ren's arm and pulled him along the path.

Ren allowed himself to be pulled, all the while thinking, 'If he thinks he's gonna try and rape me or something, then he has definitely got another thing coming.' He tightened his hand on his gwan-dao, which was...in his secret pocket.

A few minutes later...

"Aah, at last." Ren heard Hao say, he looked up from his thoughts and found that they were outside

Unicorn13564 

Askura residence.

Ren jerked his arm away. "Why the hell'd you bring me here!" 

"Because…" said Hao; and began to pull Ren inside.

"No- let me go damn it- let-"

Ren stopped struggling as he came face to face with Horo.

"See, pure happiness!" smiled Hao, and barged past the Ainu boy and entered the room to find Anna, Yoh, Tamao and Manta.

"What do you want Hao?" asked Anna, putting down the book she was reading.

Hao glanced at the book and laughed.

"What's so funny!" demanded Anna.

"Well, it's just not like you… I mean, come on, '101 Ways To Train During The Night'!"

"If Yoh wishes to get good he has to practise, right? So he's going to practise!"

"Mind if I come along and take pictures? Who knows, maybe one day your kids will ask you what sort of training Yoh did as a teen, and there I'll be with the photo's."

"Your sick you know that!" yelled Anna, and through the book at him. 

Hao smirked as he caught it and flipped through some of the pages, "Wow, this is really intense training!" he said, flipping faster, "Yoh's gonna have a hard time keeping up with this!"

Yoh just sat quietly in the corner, muttering something. "…I'm still here ya know…"

"Huh…? Oh right, so you are." Smiled Hao, and through the book at Yoh. 

Yoh's head flung back as a corner of the book hit his forehead. The young Asakura sat there in pain, tears on the edge of falling.

"…Sorry bro… I thought you'd be quick enough to catch it… Anyway, the reason I, the great Hao Asakura, have come to this shit hole, is because… WERE GONNA THROW A PARTY!"

Jen-Tao07   
Anna glared at him. "Fine, but only if you do tea for a week, okay?" She asked him.

Hao jumped up and down in excitement, "Whoopee!" 

Jen-Tao07: Well, thats all for now. I couldnt be arsed to finish my section. Had trouble with WRII(Where Revenge Is Impossible). See ya all.

Unicorn13564: Sorry its soooo late- BUT JENNA DECIDED SHE COULDN'T BE ARSED! Anyway, next chapter is going to be ace as Hao is throwing a party… dun dun duuuun! What the hell is he up too? And Jenna, do stop broadcasting your stories ¬¬ But since you did, CHECK OUT MY SK STORIES! That is all- oh, and review! And I am going to recommend some stories.

When It Snows

Enferecole

Landlord

A Shoulder To Cry On

Happy Birthday Ren

And there is a hell of a lot more that for some reason I cant think off, but there all ace too!

Bye!

DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW SOME IDEAS!


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